Dear President Obama,

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Dear Mr. President,

In case you didn't notice, this whole Iranian embassy plot might throw us into... oh, I don't know... something small along the lines of WORLD WAR THREE!!! This is one scary situation. A war with Iran? Now? Holy crap! This isn't good. We have the nuclear capacity to destroy the world 5 times over... and than another just for kicks. Do you honestly believe any of the threats are bluffs? A direct military response is the absolute worst situation. Do you remember what they tell you in health class? They tell you to use a condom before you stick it in. It's the same thing with this, but I'm pretty sure we don't have any condoms.

None of us want to see another 9/11, or another long campaign. As for a matter of fact, that's part of why we elected you. The last thing we need is a little multi-billion dollar adventure in the middle east. None of us want to mess with Russia, or China, or any other nation tied to Iran. Even if we win, we wouldn't; whoever won would be whoever lost the least. I can't imagine the horror of Tehran in ruins. Anarchy on that magnitude is unimaginable to me, or perhaps I just don't want to try.

You need to do something, and we understand that. Such a plot is inexcusable. Iran needs to pay. However, you must do what most people do when they don't have condoms: pull out before it gets messy.

Nobody wants more flag coffins. We've lost enough of our children, thank you very much. Look, If it makes you feel any better, I think Iran deserves to lose. I just don't think the innocent civilians do. I don't think Israel really does either. If Israel loses, it's citizens become instant targets of terror. The last thing I want to see before I die is my lover, who will be much more beautiful than a big mother F@&*ing mushroom cloud.

It's not like in chess, where having nothing left in the end but a queen and a king is considered victory. Your pawns are living people with real people who really care. Every trade you make kills one of our sons. Be careful.

Respectfully,

Axes4six
Aaron David Wolff
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Cosmic--Chaos's avatar
Well said. I really liked : " Your pawns are living people with real people who really care." But we aren't pawns; we're all people.

Mind if I post this? [link]